vscode-java: Extension never activates, throwing error "Header must provide a Content-Length property"

As per the title, the extension never activates; the java language server status never switches to the thumbs-up. The extension runtime status shows 37 copies of the same uncaught error: Header must provide a Content-Length property. The developer tools logs show the same error, slightly more verbosely:

workbench.desktop.main.js:2272 Error: Header must provide a Content-Length property.
	at p.onData (c:\Users\Eric.Andrews\.vscode\extensions\redhat.java-1.8.0-win32-x64\dist\extension.js:2:1138205)
	at Socket.<anonymous> (c:\Users\Eric.Andrews\.vscode\extensions\redhat.java-1.8.0-win32-x64\dist\extension.js:2:1137926)
	at Socket.emit (node:events:390:28)
	at addChunk (node:internal/streams/readable:315:12)
	at readableAddChunk (node:internal/streams/readable:289:9)
	at Socket.Readable.push (node:internal/streams/readable:228:10)
	at Pipe.onStreamRead (node:internal/stream_base_commons:199:23)

Environment

• Operating System: Windows 10 Enterprise (10.0.19044)
• JDK version: Eclipse Adoptium 17.0.3.7-hotspot
• Visual Studio Code version: 1.69.2
• Java extension version: 1.8.0

Steps To Reproduce

1. Install jdk and VSCode
2. Install the Extension Pack for Java
3. Update settings.json to point to jdk: "java.jdt.ls.java.home": "C:\\Program Files\\Eclipse Adoptium\\jdk-17.0.3.7-hotspot"
4. Open any .java file

language server logs dev tools console logs